Inflamed of Bognor Regis.

I'm prep-ing for a visit to the eye clinic tomorrow.
Not that there's much for me to prepare.

I hear the letter-box flap snap.
On investigation I find a letter marked "Private & Confidential - Addressee Only"

That'll be me then.

It reads:

The scan of your brain has shown some inflammation.  There are no lumps or bumps, but the Radiologist has suggested an appointment with the Neurologists to discuss this further.

Yours sincerely

Dictated by but left unsigned to avoid further delay

Mr. XXXXXXXXXXX
Consultant Ophthalmologist.

How many linguistic tank-traps can you count in that short missive?

If anybody wants me I'll be on the beach playing my ukulele to the raging sea.