Thursday 29 October 2009

Sundry Mortifications No.5 Stylophone Beatbox...


I thought I'd left my enthusiasm for electronic music behind many, many years ago...
Then I saw the new Stylophone Beatbox and pre-ordered one immediately...
I suspect this 'toy' will only hold my attention for a short while before I suck the fun out of it but that short while will be wonder-filled...

Wednesday 28 October 2009

Home Entertainment...

Here we see Linda playing Super Mario World on a SNES...
Linda's very good at video games...
I lack the necessary hand/eye coordination for this type of entertainment but enjoy watching Linda navigate the game nonetheless (even though it makes her swear... a lot...)
Linda's favourite game is Tomb Raider and, happily, I can be of some assistance whilst she plays this by reading out the game walk-though...
The winter evenings will just fly by...

Feral Shoes No. 9...

Drowned on the Shripney Road...

Sunday 25 October 2009

Adventures In Modern Cycling No. 12: Winter Draws On...

Time to prepare for cycling through winter...
The 'Dobson's' wheels have been re-fitted to the 'Black Tractor' and work will now begin on turning it into an ever-so-fashionable 'fixie' for next year...
I took the opportunity to completely strip the rear end of the 'Black Tractor' and finally put an end to the rattles and clanks that have plagued the rides I've taken on it over the recent months...
Today was another bright, if breezy, day. I went out for a spin around the Bognor boundaries to make sure I'd got everything tighten up properly and discovered an address that I think I'd rather like to live at...
It's just off a road called Dark Lane...

Tuesday 20 October 2009

Let Joy Be Unconfined...

I have a new pair of heavy duty black rubber gloves...!

Adventures In Modern Cycling No. 11: With Linda...

Linda wants to go for a bike ride. Where shall we go..?
Fontwell Race Course Car Boot Fair via the Barnham Link Cycle Way seems like a good idea (even though it's closed for re-surfacing)...
It's one of those sunny autumn days where everything seems to be in sharp focused full colour...
I make a purchase at the boot fair...
Dynamo and front lamp for a quid..!
It works as well. Bonus...!
We then meander through leafy country lanes toward the Aldingbourne Country Centre for coffee and cake (or a Cornish pasty in Linda's case) and a quick wander round the nature trail to look at the empty bird boxes...
On to Slindon to view the pumpkin/marrow display...
I'm not at all impressed by pumpkins and shall stick to carving out a turnip (well, a swede) to keep the evil spirits at bay and speak it wisdom to me during All Hallows' eve..
Linda is happy...

Tooth and Claw...

I was moved to add a comment on a recent Hooting Yard posting relating to weasels...
Having re-read it I can understand how many people might find it truly chilling...
I grew up in an isolated area of the Yorkshire dales on what, at one time, had been quite a grand country estate. It was populated by an odd collection of 'characters' including homicidal game-keepers, sinister gardeners, war maddened farm labourers and the tyrannical ex-colonial lords of the manor. Believe me when I say that, when I first saw it, Rawlinson End seemed like a documentary to me...
Death was everywhere and in plain view...
In the comment I made I described an incident from my childhood (I'd be about 4 years old) when a weasel entered a pheasant incubator, killed the chicken that was acting as a surrogate mother and the pheasant chicks she was raising. The game-keeper caught a weasel (I'm not sure it was the actual culprit), killed it and nailed it to a nearby fence..
The fences round about were covered in these sad little corpses the 'folk-lore' being that they served as a warning to others, a more cynical view might be that it demonstrated to the landowners that the game-keeper was doing his job...
The period after Christmas was especially disturbing. Animals that had been given as gifts were driven to the country and 'set free' having been found more of a commitment than the new owners were willing to deal with. Cats and dogs then joined the ranks of the crucified.
If there were no convenient fences the transgressors would be hung by lengths of string from the branches of trees. During my play-time wanderings I regularly bumped into crows and moles that suffered this fate...
As if all this wasn't horrific enough, the playground of the junior school I attended backed directly onto the holding area of the village butcher's abattoir. We gleeful infants would feed handfuls of grass to the cows, pigs and sheep held there and on our way home would hold our noses as we passed their stinking, fly covered skins draped over the walls alongside the road...
I wanted to write a conclusion to all this that would put some kind of perspective on it all...
I can't. They're facts of my life, the way things were...

(It will be understood why I chose not to add a picture to illustrate any of the above...)

Monday 12 October 2009

Adventures in Modern Cycling No. 10: The Gridiron 100k Randonnee'...

I did it...
It took me five hours...
The weather was boring. Grey sky, occasional drizzle and a head wind to make the last few miles a little more grueling than necessary...

I encountered the following livestock:
  • Donkeys.
  • Horses.
  • Pigs.
  • Sheep.
  • Cows.
The strangest bicycle on the ride:
It was manufactured by the Saint Etienne Bicycle Company. The strange bit about this bike, rider aside, is the gearing. Two gears, pedal forward for the high gear, pedal backward for the low gear. I found it truly disturbing to watch this bike being ridden up hill.

At the checkpoints I ate the following biscuits:
  • 1 Custard Cream
  • 2 Two Digestives
  • 2 Bourbons
Washed down with coffee..
A brief over-view of each stage:
Stage 1: Boldre - Hyde. Not as bad as I thought.
Stage 2: Hyde - Colbury. I'm surprised at how well I'm doing.
Stage 3: Colbury - Boldre. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggg the pain...

The pleasant aspects of the ride:
  • The many, many compliments the 'Dobson' attracted.
  • The general bonhomie of all the participants.
  • The organisation by C.T.C. Wessex who run the event.
  • The donkeys with 'pudding-bowl' fringes.
  • Finishing.
The most impressive riders (to me at least) were the ones who turned up on 'fixies'.
Truly they are super-beings.

I'm going to put the Dobson away now till the new season starts next year.
Will I do this ride again.?
Hmmmm... Tricky question...

Thursday 1 October 2009

Sundry Mortifications No. 4...

Some fiddly adjustments and a bit of polishing aside this project is at an end...
The Gulf stickers sum it up really. It describes the gap between the original concept and the finished article...
On a lighter note..
It's fun to ride and quite pretty (in my eyes at least..)
So, anybody want to buy a bike..?
£150 and it's yours...
(N.B. Product may differ materially from that illustrated..)