Saturday, 30 April 2011

BigMetalTower Expeditionary Team Despatch: 03

Cardboard Reality Interventions 2011: No. 120

Bognor Regis 30/04/11:

In The Healing Chamber of The BigMetalTower (audio only)

Friday, 29 April 2011

McShrine: 01

I'm never sure what to do with old computers that have served their purpose yet still remain.
Like an old (fill in empathetic image word here).

I've found when trying to sort any mount of anything out it's best pick an item and not put it down until I've have found a purpose or a place for it.
i.e. If the first thing I pickup is a picture, then I must hang it before I can do anything else.

I followed this principle until what you see in the picture above happened.
I notice that some aspects of the perspective look 'wrong'.

Or maybe it's just me.

Cardboard Reality Interventions 2011: No. 119

Shopwhyke 29/04/11:

Thursday, 28 April 2011

Cardboard Reality Interventions 2011: No. 118

Market Harborough 28/04/11:

C.R.I. Pre-History: 01/02/2006

Help The Aged Godalming

Brenda's Thrush.

This is a scan of a limited edition print of a painting by a friend of mine called Brenda.
Seen here showing how to play keyboard and strangle your husband:
As Time Goes By
I like this because I can see how much effort Brenda put into creating it.
I like this because sometimes, on catching sight of the print on the wall from the corner of my eye, that thrush moves.
(Oh yes, it does!)

Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Half Man Half Biscuit: Disappointing Ticket Sales.

Bunch of loveable poppets
It takes a lot of persuading to get me to go any distance to see an entertainment.
It takes even more than a lot to get me to go see a band.
People who know I'm somehow 'involved' in music are always suggesting I go see this or that band, usually local, usually bad, or listen to this new C.D. by fill in blank I've never heard of.
I'm not some kind of misanthrope, really I'm not, it's just that I hear some of the best musicians I'll ever hear every Friday night at the folk club.

The folk club's great.
I don't have to stand in some god-awful public house or club paying through the nose for indifferent beer that comes in a plastic container, not because the management of the club/pub are worried that I might drop and break a real glass, oh, no, it's because they're worried I might use it as a weapon.
And try getting a cup of coffee after 9 p.m. in any of these places.
I don't have to stand in front of an over-driven, inadequate public address system wishing someone would let me turn the middle down because the performances at the folk club are acoustic.
I could go on...

I haven't been to see Half Man Half Biscuit since a gig on St. David's day in Cardiff so I've treated myself to a ticket to their gig in Leicester tomorrow night.
I can't wait.

The only disappointing part is the actual 'ticket'.
No ticket with a tear off stub and the bit I get to keep for my collection of Half Man Half Biscuit tickets.
Just a number texted to my mobile phone.

I'd go on about how wonderful HMHB are but if you don't know I can't explain and I've noticed how people glaze over when I try so I stopped bothering.
If you don't like Half Man Half Biscuit you don't like fill in blank
Suffice to say Half Man Half Biscuit and The Handsome Family are the only two musical acts left on the planet I'll go a long way at great expense to worship at the feet of.

As for the rest of 'em "The music that you constantly play says nothing to me about my life" (Morrissey out of the Smiths)

Cardboard Reality Interventions 2011: No. 117

Longbrook Park, Felpham 27/04/11:

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Cardboard Reality Interventions 2011: No. 116

Felpham 26/04/11:

Fetch. (O.S.M. Ind. Product 2011)

(Cheques and Postal Orders Only Please.)

BigMetalTower Expeditionary Team Despatch: 02

Elements Pt. 01

Monday, 25 April 2011

Cardboard Reality Interventions 2011: No. 115

Walberton 23/04/11:

BigMetalTower Expeditionary Team Despatch: 01

Sunday, 24 April 2011

Cardboard Reality Interventions 2011: No. 114

Barnham 23/04/11:

Saturday, 23 April 2011

Cardboard Reality Interventions 2011: No. 113

Barnham 23/04/11:

Mr. Berry Greene Performs 'Just Out of Reach' (V.F. Stewart) at the City Folk Club.

Friday, 22 April 2011

Cardboard Reality Interventions 2011: No. 112

Nore Hill 18/04/11:

Thursday, 21 April 2011

Cardboard Reality Interventions 2011: No. 111

Slindon 18/04/11:

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Outa_Spaceman's New 'Facility'.

Now that the back room is almost finished and has a new function my important 'experimental' work must continue elsewhere...

...the attic:

The Back Room Pt: 05

Carpet cleaning is the first order of today.
Which means a hands-&-knees micro-vacuuming before applying the cleaning foam.
Two hours for the foam to do it's job then another vacuuming to find it actually doesn't look much different to when I started.

The next task involves the Airer Maid Restoration project I started in 2009.
After rooting about in the attic for around half-an-hour I'm confident I know exactly where the joist is that I'm going to screw the pulleys into.
Back in the room, stood on a wobbly box with an electric drill in my hand, I miss the joist by about 2 inches.
Some polyfilla and swearing later I have the pulleys in place and am vacuuming the polyfilla dust from the clean carpet:
The rope goes over the 'back' (nearest the wall) pulley of the double then on to the single pulley and down to the airer where it's tied off:
The other end of the rope threads over the 'front' pulley and is tied off at the other end of the airer and the whole assembly is test lifted:
It works, it works!
Go me!

I spend the next quarter-of-an-hour raising and lowering the airer before I notice it fouls the open door.
The next half-an-hour is spent repositioning the airer so the door will open, polyfillering holes, vacuuming the carpet again and swearing.

BTW the buttermilk paint looks the right colour in the pictures above.

Cardboard Reality Interventions 2011: No. 110

Bilsham 14/04/11:

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Paper Crane Consumed By Flame.

If you run this backwards it becomes 'Paper Crane Rises From The Ashes'.

Cardboard Reality Interventions 2011: No. 109

Clymping 14/04/11:

Monday, 18 April 2011


I've wanted to visit this folly for sometime:
After a romp up a hill I stood before it.
I wasn't as amazed by it as I expected to be.
I wandered into the woodland and found something much more impressive:
Sadly you can't smell them.

Linda found a stick she liked:

Cardboard Reality Interventions 2011: No. 108

Clymping 14/04/11:

Sunday, 17 April 2011

The Back Room Pt: 04

At possible risk to my well-being I have returned to the task of decorating the back room.
In my last post I promised a danger-filled episode involving electricity or, at least, the fitting of a mains spur to add some more power sockets.
There has been a change of plan.
Linda and I had a serious discussion about what the purpose of the back room should be.
We have decided that it's going to be a 'utility' room which we need because space in our flat is scarce commodity.

The skirting wood-work has been painted a very shiny black:
I'm convinced the paint I used was responsible for my migraine attack.

The walls are Buttermilk which is no where as yellow as it appears in this picture:
The walls were a dark blue which took quite a bit of covering and even after two heavy coats of white emulsion and one of the Butter Milk I'm still sure I can see patches of blue.

The floor boards are getting a coat of Tile Red floor paint which I hope won't trigger my next migraine:
The over-all effect is one of 'provincial railway station waiting room' which I quite like and I expect to wake tomorrow to find Celia Johnson and Trevor Howard loitering about in there.

The next stage will be fittings and furniture.

(Believe me, it really isn't that yellow.)

Cardboard Reality Interventions 2011: No. 107

Bilsham 14/04/11:

Saturday, 16 April 2011



Cardboard Reality Interventions 2011: No. 106

Clymping 14/04/11:

Friday, 15 April 2011


Cardboard Reality Interventions 2011: No. 105

Bognor Regis 14/04/11:

Thursday, 14 April 2011

Despatches From C.R.I. Agents In The Field.

Golden Square, Petworth 14/11/10 (Placed By G.O.W.):
Otago Lane, Glasgow 10/04/11 (Placed by Sotch Dave):