A Quick Game of 'Arrahs'...

Linda was once a darts champion...
I'm hopeless at darts...
Nevertheless I've developed an interest in televised darts competitions...
Not in the actual games being played you understand, it's the audience that fascinates me...
They seem to be truly bonkers...
The bizarre fancy dress costumes, the hand-written signs and the synchronised jigging about between the games...
I'm watching ITV 4's Players Championship coverage out of the corner of my eye at the moment...
It's got a lot more going for it than watching the tennis robots grand slam final I saw this morning...
Why are we Brits so good at games played in pubs I wonder..?

Grunting And Potato Day...

Friday saw Grunting and Potato Day over at Hooting Yard...
In celebration of this important event in the Hooting Yard calender, I made this movie for those people that might be curious to experience what 'Spem in alium sung, or rather grunted, backwards' might sound like

Interior Design For Sheds No. 1 A Shelf...

I contend that one of the key male rights of passage is the successful erecting of a secure, level shelf...
Trust me young man, this ability will impress females more than that large bore exhaust you put on your mum's Nissan Micra...
(It will also help your chances if you can use a washing machine and prepare some kind of meal that doesn't involve using a telephone...)

During my current 'productive' period I find that my work-shop is getting increasingly cramped and I have to transfer the over-spill into my shed...
This will require a shelf...
I found a couple of tastefully distressed pieces of wood on the beach, rounded up a couple of brackets and set to work...
In the relaxed blink of an eye my goal was achieved..

I then added some bits and bobs...

Job done...

More Useful Signs...

One of my 'treats' is to sit down at my 'Magic Television Internets Device' on a Saturday morning and visit Mr. Webster's Pavilion of Innocent Pasttimes...
It sets up the weekend for me by putting a smile on my face...
In a recent posting he draws attention to an incredibly useful sign that he's developed:

This is a warning sign, for use by British bloggers, to indicate that the contents of a posting might confuse foreign 'Johnnies'...
IMHO the world owes Mr. Webster a round of sustained applause for services to humanity...
Not content with his master stroke, he also designed a special warning sign for my personal use:

The world is now a better place...

Televisual Simulacrumating Device vs. Acorn Electron: Test Transmission...

I have a plan to integrate the T.S.D. with an Acorn Electron computer...
After sorting out various connectors and transformers things look promising, if a little skew-wiff...

I then input the only BASIC programme I can remember:

Then set the mighty brain a task:

So, back to basics then...

Disappointment...

NUNS LOSE STRIPTEASE CLUB BATTLE
Sadly the story didn't live up to the promise of the headline:
The Actual Story

The Sharpsichord...(Up-Dated)

I really wish I could put a picture of this instrument here but I can't find any...
Just an infuriatingly short interview slot on the BBC:
Kent 'sound sculptor' unveils 'sharpsichord'...
Grrrr...
I must know more, I must know more...!
Thanks to 'Nick' I now know more...

Poor Linda...

Poor Linda stabbed herself in the eye with a Pinus Pinea...
We've got to go to the hospital now as I haven't got a suitable Dremel bit for this kind of work...

Useful Signs...

I'm experimenting with Appleworks 6...
I want to make a series of useful signs to attach to various doors we have around the flat...
I favour the 'classic' blue and white enamel type of sign:


Linda prefers a more 'modern' style (Googie):

Relieving The Pressure...

I am eternally grateful to Mr. G. Webster for reminding me of this procedure and suggesting a way it might be achieved...

I used a Dremel to drill a hole in my thumb nail to relieve the pressure build up...
The effects were immediate..!
My thumb doesn't hurt anymore..
Result..!
I may have gone a little to far when I decided to give my thumb nail a 'smiley face'...
I was stopped when Linda shouted that she couldn't get to sleep for the sound of drilling and screaming...
(She'd assumed I was attempting to do my own fillings again..)
All's well that ends well..
Thanks Glyn.

Nearly a 1958 Meccano 0 Outfit...

I've collected quite an amount of old Meccano parts over the last couple of years...
My initial idea was to use them in my on-going projects rather than build the pieces suggested in the instruction leaflets...
I was messing about re-designing the Waving Machine when I found myself wondering 'what would have been in a set the year I was born (1958)..?
It looked like this:


Trust me to be born in a year when Meccano was undergoing a bit of a re-vamp (mainly lightening the colours..)
Having done some internets research (my thanks to Melvyn Wright's site The Meccano Light Red and Green Period) I managed to put together the bulk of the '0' set...


I've 'up-graded' the crank piece to one with a grip..

Missing Parts:
4 x Spring Clips
1 x Original Screwdriver
18 x Cheesehead bolts
2 x 3/8ths Bolts
1x Small Parts Tin
2 x Grey Motor Tyres (mine have black rubber rings fitted)

My plan is to create a 'Deluxe' 1958 Meccano 0 Outfit by re-finishing the parts, replacing the nuts, bolts & washers with brass equivalents and packaging the outfit in a plush lined wooden box C/W instruction pamphlet...
The next stage will be to make up the 0 accessory outfit that upgrades the 0 outfit into a No. 1 set...

I've also noticed I have enough gear parts to make up the Meccano Gears Outfit B...


Good grief...!
I think I've just developed a business plan...

Linda and Magic...

In an attempt to balance the distressing picture of my clouted thumb here's a picture of Linda leading Magic (poor old horse) from the paddock to the stable...

It should be borne in mind that if you try to remove Magic's blanket while she's eating she will kick out with her left hind leg...

Sundry Mortifications No. 9: The Vulgar Tongue...

There are at least three words in the English language that I will only use in circumstances of extreme provocation...
I consider these words to be the 'sharpest tools in the box' and I don't want to blunt them through over use..
When I was young I didn't hear any words stronger than 'bloody' used in every day speech which left me ill prepared for the days I spent working in a factory...
People (regardless of gender) didn't just swear between words, they swore between syllables..!
Because I was a polite young man, my usual response to any given set of profanity laden instructions was to say "I beg your pardon..?'
This lead to another stream of invective the gist of which seemed to be that I was, somehow, being willfully obtuse...
Today I had occasion to unsheathe the sharpest of my sharp weapons...

I had set about splitting some logs using an old axe head and a hammer...
I ended up with a wobbly wedge of wood that I had to steady with my hand...
I raised the hammer high above my head, it glinted briefly in the watery winter sunshine, I then brought it down with all my might directly on to the thumb of my left hand...

That was eight hours ago and it still hasn't stopped bleeding...
Fortunately I still seem to be able to play the banjo...

Hour of Slack: 1240 (feat O.S.M. Cut-up..)

One of my sound collages features in The Church of the Subgenius 'Hour of Slack' (No 1240)...
Listen to it here:
Hour of Slack 1240
I swell with pride...


PRABOB..!

Outa_Spaceman: Being 52: Document 01

Entertaining Myself on My Birthday...

Being 52...

Errrr...?
Now what..?

The Relic (Redux...)

This piece started a very, very long time ago...
I bought an articulated wooden figure with the idea of using it in a stop-frame animation that I haven't got round to making yet...
The figure was packaged in a plastic 'bubble' which, for no apparent reason, I filled with plaster...
I sprayed the resulting figure gold and put it in our garden...
A year later I found the figure in the undergrowth in the condition seen here and decided to put it in a suitable display case...
My first attempt at mounting it was a bit of a disaster...
I cut the sticky back green felt stuff to fit the box exactly, with no over-laps, it then promptly shrank to leave visible gaps all round it...

Today I took the piece down from where it hangs in my lab and had another go at doing it some justice...
I stained the box with a tea/iron acetate mixture and lined the sides with a green and gold patterned wall-paper then fitted a back board covered in red 'velvet'...
When my skill level improves I'm going to make a frame to finish the whole thing off then it's destined to hang in my shed...

Linda's Drawing of a Bee...

Linda sketched a bee using the picture on the lid of her tobacco tin as a model...
I scribbled the yellow bits...

Tattoo Charm Brooch...

There's just no pleasing some people...
I bought Linda some earrings that had jolly nautical tattoo style charms on them...
Linda said that because the bit that went through her ear wasn't gold or silver it would make her ears go 'funny..'
No problem, I'll make them into a brooch...
Although Linda likes the brooch in concept, she doesn't like the nappy-pin I attached the charms to...
Good heavens! Did Punk Rock die for nothing..?