I am here to keep the incumbents seat warm.
I am not to touch anything.
I am not to change anything.
I am neither to agree/disagree to any request made of me by College staff or the cleaning team.
I am expected to wear a shirt and tie.
I am expected to deal with all the admin paperwork.
I am expected to consult an adult if I detect myself having any independent thoughts relating to the delivery of cleaning services to the client.
You get the picture?
On my last cleaning shift I looked like this:
I know that look.
That's my 'worried man' look.
'But isn't this everything you wanted? Everything you worked for?'
I ended my first post anticipating tearing into the Nightshift Supervisor.
I visited the client's office to let them know my movements, telling them of my meeting with the Night Supervisor.
There was a collective tutting, raising of eyebrows, and vast exhalations of breath.
'Have you met 'im?'
'course, he's not the one who should have got the job'.
'Y'know what they call him?'
I began to feel my blood boiling, boiling, boiling.
I went back to the Manager's office and reported my recent conversation to the current encumbent.
He seemed genuinely surprised.
The whole thing bothered me to distraction.
The current encumbent and I arrived at the college at 18:30.
I am introduced to the Night Supervisor.
The Night Supervisor is a quite man who avoids eye contact by hanging his head.
He has some mobility issues.
He has a team of 14 to clean the whole campus overnight.
I now find out he is a Supervisor for only half of his 8hr shift, the other 4hrs he has to clean.
This is okay as long as everyone turns up for work or there are no other issues to deal with.
A rare circumstance.
He's a Northerner, like me.
He has a ready smile and a willingness to get things done.
I'm sorry I even contemplated tearing a strip off him.
That blood is still boiling.
The College is plastered with graffito-style slogans about achivement, inclusivity, support.
Fucking shiny happy people.
How dare the staff of an educational establishment in the 21st Century describe a valuable team player as a 'zombie'.
Wow! That relived the pressure.
I now look like this:
"All together now!"
'It takes a worried man to sing a worried song..."