Weapon of Choice...

It's probably a sad indictment of the perilous times we live in that I feel it necessary to carry a weapon (and a couple of King Edward spuds) at all times...
The spud gun pictured is, sadly, not an original Lone Star Spud-Matic but it's a testament to it's efficacy that the design has stood the test of time and is still available...
Of course it's all fun and games until someone gets an eye put out...

Lavatory Library....

I know this only happens because I allow it to happen but certain books seem to gravitate toward the lavatory...
It's a way of assuring that they are never read again...
Here's a list:

1. The Little Book of Farting
2. Far Out (101 Strange Tales From Science's Outer Edge)
3. The Ultimate Pub Trivia Quiz
4. Crap Towns I
5. Crap Towns II
6. The Big Book of Bodily Functions
7. The Art Book
8. Coleman Balls 5
9. Naughty Wit
10. A Surprisingly Soothing Book of Harmony
11. The Time Waster Letters
12. The Nation's Favourite Poems
13. Boring Postcards
14. Dugouts
15. Nice Cup of Tea and a Sit Down
16. The Mammoth Book of Jokes
17. Shott's Original Miscellany
18. The Enthusiast Almanack
19. Shott's Almanack 2006
20. Shott's Almanack 2008
21. 1001 Country DIY Hints

I'd scoop them all up and put them in one of the many charity bags we get through the letter box each week (except for Boring Postcards) but Christmas is coming and the space would just fill up again...
Ho hum...

Now That's What I Call Experimental...!

MUSIC OF TODAY

Errr...?
Click on the picture...

Phew..!

It may not look like it but this represents a significant breakthrough...
I've been sat in the lab for several weeks unable to make, repair or restore anything...
I sift though my collections of bits and bobs trying to visualise which part of a larger whole they may be...
Nothing ...
Then...
I found a German soldier washed up on the beach...
Some horrific circumstance had deprived him of his legs so I set about giving him a suitable alternative...
"Werde ich jemals wieder laufen?"
"Jawohl mein herr"

The Men Who Stare At Goats...

I don't actually remember how I heard about this practice:
The Men Who Stare At Goats
I'm aware that Mr. Key of Hooting Yard has suggested that staring at pigs in a pig sty is a useful palliative for the neurasthenic and that goats (usually toggenburgs) turn up with alarming frequency in his writing but I'm sure he's never mentioned, or recommended, killing goats by staring at them...
I have produced a small tableau, using nativity figures, to illustrate what this dubious martial art might look like...