I'm your biggest fan...

I despair at myself sometimes...
I start out making a little face for a model I'm working on and I turn out this horror...

To achieve this level of unease first strike a mold from an Action Man's (G.I. Joe) face using silicone sealant....
Press Femo into the mold, remove and bake...
Dremel the eye sockets out then paint the face white...
Add the facial detail (badly)...
Then cut a pair of eyes from a magazine picture of your favourite celeb and glue them, upside down, to the rear of the face...
Put it in an envelope and post it to your chosen celeb with a note saying 'I'm your biggest fan'...
Wait for the restraining order to turn up...

The Steampunk Cardboard Box....

In answer to that oft asked question "how do I "steampunk" my (insert choice of techno-crap here)".
I present the The Steampunk Cardboard Box...!
Select your piece of techno-crap and place the Steampunk Cardboard Box over it...
Hey presto...! It's steampunked...

First select your cardboard box. Then glue external strengthening around the edges...

Bake up some Femo 'rivets' then glue then around the external strengthening (I also added some Femo sconces at this stage....)

Spray, or paint, the box over with a dilute wood-glue solution then cover all over with a dry mortar mix. Repeat as necessary...

Spray, or paint, the box with matt black paint. Allow to dry. Apply a burnt sienna wash...
There you have it...
The Steampunk Cardboard Box...

O.S.M. Ind. 'Viper' Mk 1. Machine Pistol...

What better way to ensure your survival in 'difficult' situations than the O.S.M. Ind. 'Viper' Mk 1. Machine Pistol...?
None, I suggest...

O.S.M. Ind. Voice Projection Contraption...

Do you have difficulty in getting your minions roused to action..?
Then worry not...!
You need the O.S.M. Ind Voice Projection Contraption..!

(I feel a little guilty about butchering one of my trusty SM58's....)

Re-Housed Plasma Ball Lamp...

Plasma ball lamp re-housed in a hardboard case with the cast iron effect paint job...

The Pink Buddha Light...

I was messing about in the lab and suddenly I'd built this...

Rusty Cast Iron Mask...

Rusty cast iron mask...?
Well maybe...
In fact it's papier mâché, sprayed matt black then washed over with burnt sienna...
The papier mâché was mixed with sand and cement mortar though I don't think it added to the end product significantly..

The Steam Engine Build...

It seems to me, in these modern times, one needs some form of motive power if one is to be considered normal...
To this end I'm build my own steam engine...!
Let's start with a boiler made from an old aerosol can...
(During the construction of the boiler I set the smoke alarm off at 4 am & 3 am on consecutive evenings...)
Then I'll need something to boil the water in the boiler...

Does it work..?

Yes it works...
Now let's see those components together...

Hmmmm... Nice..!
Now, how about some cylinders to turn that steam into motion...?
Something like these perhaps..?

Good...
Now I'm going to put the whole lot in a cupboard to let them 'mature' for a couple of years...

Kew Gardens Meet Up Armband...

It's the sewing wench's day off.....
So I had to make this armband myself...
I took a t-shirt (that my ex-employers made me wear)....
Cut out all the letters then stuck them to a piece of cloth using Wonder-Web...
Easy...
At least it was until I discovered that, not only had I made a spelling mistake, I'd inadvertently stuck the band to a tea-towel I was using to protect the table....
Go me...!

Top Ten Steampunk Hacks... (What am I doing here!?)

My speaker cabinet recently turned up on Apartment Therapy Unplugged as one of the:
Top Ten Steampunk Hacks
I seem to be moving in exulted circles...!
(until they find out...)

Bulkhead Lamp...

Add a cheery glow to your underground bunker with OSM industries wall lamp...

The Voltmeter...

Should I ever be asked to check the Queen's electrical output, I think this might be the appropriate piece of equipment to use....

Brain in a jar...

This piece has taken longer to construct than I expected... Probably because I didn't have a plan for it and just 'jammed' it out... Everytime I solved one issue 4 more arose to take it's place... Now all I have to do is make the link to the Cranial Integument Enhancement Helmet and I could, dare I say, RULE THE WORLD!!!!
Mwwrrrhh, ha, ha, ha...

And now, a brief film interlude...

Another lab shot....

Me sitting about instead of working...

Some aspects of my personality worry me...

I don't like "uniforms" as a rule but....
I was messing about with the idea of using kilt pins as fasteners and things just spiraled out of control...

Thromnanbulaxion Tribal Masks...

During my last mission I stopped off on a small uncharted planet...
Imagine my surprise when, upon landing and stepping on to the heavily vegetated surface, I was surrounded and "attacked" by hundreds of small humanoid beings waving a variety of sharp, pointy weapons...
My response to this aggression was to scythe through the throng with a large blunt instrument, a text book defense method I had learnt as a cadet...
Imagine my embarrassment to later discover that I had misunderstood the traditional Thromnanbulaxion welcoming dance...
Later, in his palatial cave, oh how the chief of these valiant people and I laughed at my appalling faux pas...
He did, however, allow me to keep a couple of the tribal masks of the slain...

(N.B. The parallel development of the "safety" pin. Used by the Thromnanbulaxeions to ward off evil nose spirits.)

Perfume Bottle Atomizer Air Bulb Invention

I started out with the intention of building a ray-gun...
So...
The path to ray-guns is paved with perfume bottle atomizer air bulb inventions...

The Squirrel Cage Bulb Lamp...

What home can be without OSM Industries Squirrel Cage Bulb Lamp...?
(now with dimmer switch for that "romamtic" glow)

Pinhead Toy...

Another perfect child's toy...
When the brass button is depressed the head flashes...
(and you can keep stuff in it)

The Cranial Integument Enhancement Helmet

My journeys though the cosmos require the ability to communicate with many different life forms....
I developed the Cranial Integument Enhancement Helmet to facilitate inter-being interlocution...
Saves having to pull the ray-gun out to get my point across...

The Mavelous Toy...

What child could be unhappy with this...? A switch to flick... A button to push... To be rewarded by light and sound... You can keep stuff in it as well...

9v Power Supply...

Imagine, if you will, you are on stage in front of thousands of adoring fans...
Step up to your Theremin for that all important transcendent solo... You stamp down on your boutique effects pedal and... nothing... flat battery... What do you do, what do you do...?
Reach for your OSM Industries emergency 9v power supply of course...! Your reputation is saved and everybody buys one of your t-shirts from the stand your current partner is running... (perhaps a copy of your groundbreaking waxing as well..)

The Waving Machine

A machine to greet you or, wave goodbye....

The Cabinet of Dr. Outa_Spaceman

This speaker cabinet was built from bits and pieces I found in bins around Bognor Regis.

The gang in my lab...

Some of my 'experimental' friends...

Kew Bridge Steam Museum

Well worth the entry fee...
Friendly informative staff, amazing engines & beautiful building...
My only criticism being the lack of Cornish pasties in the cafe...
I climbed the 240 steps to the top of the Stand-pipe tower... The view is spectacular (even on a grey day)...
The rest of my photos:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9848948@N05/sets/72157603590452058/
Their site:
http://www.kbsm.org/