Tuesday, 13 December 2011
Monday, 12 December 2011
Ignorant Ornithology and Sudden Enthusiasms. (a poem in words and pictures by OSM)
Letter to Mr. G. Webster of The Pavilion of Innocent Pastimes:
(reads)
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed an rough sketch of an ferocious creature that swooped to attack me this evening as I changed my bandage.
Would it be possible for you to confirm that this creature is, in fact, an eagle?
O.S.M. B:nn
 |
| An Eagle? |
"That's a bewinged potato, you're not catching me out that easily!"
And so Linda made Pease Pottage:
 |
| Not to scale |
Sunday, 11 December 2011
Saturday, 10 December 2011
Friday, 9 December 2011
Thursday, 8 December 2011
Wednesday, 7 December 2011
Dance Me to the End of Love (L. Cohen) Single Mic Demo/Guide version: 01 Performed by BeHeld.
Dance Me to the End of Love (L. Cohen)
Performed by BeHeld.
Recorded Friday 02/12/11
Single Mic Demo/Guide Track.
Jane: Vocals
Mick: Violin
Roger: Guitar/Vocals
David: Baritone Ukulele/Vocals
Linda: Dancing
Thanks. That Helps No End.
I watched the BBC's local news programme (South Today) on the television last night.
I watch it every night for the weather forecast.
I need a vague idea of what the weather will bring the following day so I can make sure I dress correctly for the conditions.
Wind speed/direction are my preferred indicators as these have the most influence on my cycle ride to and from work.
(I prefer riding into the wind on the way to work then letting the wind blow me home on the ride back.)
Last night a report on local government spending cuts caught my attention.
The format usually focuses on an individual's personal experience of proposed cuts and tends to play heavily on the 'human-story' with much weeping, wailing and hand-wringing.
Last night featured a report on cuts to public transport services in rural areas and the knock-on effect it will have on the, mostly, elderly people who rely on buses to get them from their isolated bucolic hovels to anywhere that might have a shop/doctor/post office.
The piffling amount of money the county council will save by cutting this budget was contrasted with the MILLIONS of pounds they have ear-marked to restore the Chichester Festival Theatre.
But that's not what got my goat.
After the report the discussion continued in the studio.
Much was said about the level of social deprivation that's all to evident in the towns along the south coast and the seeming incongruity between the cuts to services and the funding for the restoration.
But that's not what got my goat either.
What really buttered my necktie was, as an illustrative example of this appalling social deprivation, they used footage of the main shopping area in Bognor Regis!
To be fair the BBC didn't actually identify Bognor but it annoyed me just the same.
So, If you want to experience social deprivation at first hand, why not visit Bognor Regis?
(And bring your wallet).
I watch it every night for the weather forecast.
I need a vague idea of what the weather will bring the following day so I can make sure I dress correctly for the conditions.
Wind speed/direction are my preferred indicators as these have the most influence on my cycle ride to and from work.
(I prefer riding into the wind on the way to work then letting the wind blow me home on the ride back.)
Last night a report on local government spending cuts caught my attention.
The format usually focuses on an individual's personal experience of proposed cuts and tends to play heavily on the 'human-story' with much weeping, wailing and hand-wringing.
Last night featured a report on cuts to public transport services in rural areas and the knock-on effect it will have on the, mostly, elderly people who rely on buses to get them from their isolated bucolic hovels to anywhere that might have a shop/doctor/post office.
The piffling amount of money the county council will save by cutting this budget was contrasted with the MILLIONS of pounds they have ear-marked to restore the Chichester Festival Theatre.
But that's not what got my goat.
After the report the discussion continued in the studio.
Much was said about the level of social deprivation that's all to evident in the towns along the south coast and the seeming incongruity between the cuts to services and the funding for the restoration.
But that's not what got my goat either.
What really buttered my necktie was, as an illustrative example of this appalling social deprivation, they used footage of the main shopping area in Bognor Regis!
To be fair the BBC didn't actually identify Bognor but it annoyed me just the same.
So, If you want to experience social deprivation at first hand, why not visit Bognor Regis?
(And bring your wallet).
Tuesday, 6 December 2011
Monday, 5 December 2011
Sunday, 4 December 2011
Cardboard Reality Interventions 2011: 338
Fontwell 04/12/11:
This intervention is dedicated to Ned Ouwell who donated her home-made cardboard inner-sole for inclusion in it's construction.
Saturday, 3 December 2011
Friday, 2 December 2011
Dancing (Updated)
At the insistence of The Midnight Car Park Ramblers, the original sound-track, The Big Wha Hoo (Live) has been restored to the footage of The League of Outa-Space Formation Dance Team's Performance.
Many apologies for any distress caused by this oversight.
O.S.M. B:nn
Many apologies for any distress caused by this oversight.
O.S.M. B:nn
Thursday, 1 December 2011
Wednesday, 30 November 2011
Surprise!
I suddenly realised I'd neglected, for the first time in many years, to buy myself an advent calendar.
I've been busy.
But, right now, waving the branch of a tree at me,
Linda wants to know where the white paint is.
Linda wants a paint brush.
Linda tells me I have to stay out of the front room for at least 20 minutes.
I am called into the front room,
Linda has made me my very own advent stick!
I've been busy.
But, right now, waving the branch of a tree at me,
Linda wants to know where the white paint is.
Linda wants a paint brush.
Linda tells me I have to stay out of the front room for at least 20 minutes.
I am called into the front room,
Tuesday, 29 November 2011
Monday, 28 November 2011
Sunday, 27 November 2011
Saturday, 26 November 2011
Horse!
Intrepid independent film maker Ned Ouwell has a close encounter with a heavily soiled horse called Oprah.
("stupid name for a horse" N. Owell.)
("stupid name for a horse" N. Owell.)
Sundry Mortifications No.19 : Some Things I Write.
"Then it fell off.
I trimmed the ends up that time, and woodlice, had compromised.
Then I left it somewhere and forgot about it."
Good 'eavens.
Ducky Pegs.
CRI's & music aside, I haven't made anything for awhile. Which makes me itch.
I've had an piece of interesting driftwood nailed to the front of my shed for years.
Then it fell off.
I trimmed the ends up that time, and woodlice, had compromised.
Then I left it somewhere and forgot about it.
This week I was having a root-around in one of the many drawers-of-interesting-things in the flat and found a coat-hanger shaped like a duck's head.
It seemed so 'naff'.
Then I remembered seeing another one exactly like it, but couldn't remember where I'd seen it.
It took me two days to find it. It was screwed to the back of the door in the back room.
Dressing gowns are a nuisance.
When they're not being worn they just lay about on the bed doing nothing all day.
Well, nothing except being untidy I s'pose.
What they need is a peg to hang on so they can be ready at a moments notice.
I held a duck peg up to the wall and it just looked a bit 'sad' really.
Like when people have a really slick kitchen fitted but screw a cup hook into the front of one of the doors to hang a tea-towel on.
(Prefer Aga's m'self. Tea towels look good hanging on the front of an Aga.)
Now the dim bulb starts to glow.
What's needed is a 'something' to mount the duck pegs on which can then be screwed to the wall.
So, that's that problem solved.
Some days pass.
I am obsessively re-arranging various items in my attic hide-away.
I find the piece of driftwood.
Then this happens:
Four screws later I have something that can be fitted to a wall.
Which is a complex process involving:
I called on the wisdom of my ancestors, various things happened and the end result looked like this:
As the new facility has a nautical aspect (ish) I added some appropriate decoration:
I tested it's intended purpose:
Flushed with my achievement, I hung the diving lady up over the mirror:
I've had an piece of interesting driftwood nailed to the front of my shed for years.
 |
| Blue Pointer Indicates Area Under Discussion |
I trimmed the ends up that time, and woodlice, had compromised.
Then I left it somewhere and forgot about it.
This week I was having a root-around in one of the many drawers-of-interesting-things in the flat and found a coat-hanger shaped like a duck's head.
It seemed so 'naff'.
Then I remembered seeing another one exactly like it, but couldn't remember where I'd seen it.
It took me two days to find it. It was screwed to the back of the door in the back room.
Dressing gowns are a nuisance.
When they're not being worn they just lay about on the bed doing nothing all day.
Well, nothing except being untidy I s'pose.
What they need is a peg to hang on so they can be ready at a moments notice.
I held a duck peg up to the wall and it just looked a bit 'sad' really.
Like when people have a really slick kitchen fitted but screw a cup hook into the front of one of the doors to hang a tea-towel on.
(Prefer Aga's m'self. Tea towels look good hanging on the front of an Aga.)
Now the dim bulb starts to glow.
What's needed is a 'something' to mount the duck pegs on which can then be screwed to the wall.
So, that's that problem solved.
Some days pass.
I am obsessively re-arranging various items in my attic hide-away.
I find the piece of driftwood.
Then this happens:
 |
| The Parts Come Together |
Which is a complex process involving:
- A No.8 Wood Bit
- A No.8 Masonry Bit
- An Ancient Black & Decker Drill
- An Electrical Extension
- Two Screws
- Two Wall Plugs
- A Screwdriver
- A Spirt Level
- My Reading Glasses
I called on the wisdom of my ancestors, various things happened and the end result looked like this:
 |
| Result of Process |
 |
| "Giant Duck Peg Off the Port Bow C'pn!" |
 |
| A Success. |
 |
| Bombs Away! |
Friday, 25 November 2011
London: City of the Future
I really happy with it.
Mr. Glyn Webster also likes it and you can see how he utilised it here:
Sudden Enthusiasm: London 2011 A.D.
Mr. Webster is, without doubt, a member of The League of Outa_Space.
Thursday, 24 November 2011
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