Sunday 18 April 2021

The Biffa Trip. Pt. 1 What’s Good..?

2017, I need to get some form of employment to stave off what is becoming a potentially worrying financial situation..

Since abandoning the vile world of commerce in the early 2K’s I’ve stuck to, what are considered by many, to be “menial” tasks.. “I’ll follow your rules, I’ll wear your uniform, now give me the money”.

More out of curiosity than expectation, I scan the local rag’s sits vac. 

Err, Bingo..!

ADC refuse contractors, Biffa Municipal are looking for someone to train & use a high pressure washing system that’s to be put to work on street-cleansing/graffiti removal. 

I’m attracted to this, but only so I could add “High Pressure Washer Operator” to my extensive list of the machines I’m trained on and certified to use in a professional manner..

I applied,  considering it practice for any other position I might apply for.. 

Err... In applying  I may have neglected to mention Multiple Sclerosis..  All subsequent applications were full and honest disclosures of my condition of course..

Out of 30 applications I get one bite.. the one I forgot to tell about my M.S.

I present myself for an interview I consider to be a practice session for future occasions. I’m relaxed, confident, and enjoying talking about myself and the extraordinary things I’ve done and achieved.  It felt like a “good” interview, but I didn’t expect anything out of it..

Later that day I receive the call... I didn’t get the job I applied for (pin in that for later), but would I consider joining the team as a Driver/Operator clearing fly-tipped rubbish and general street cleaning duties..?

I resort to my rule: “never say “no” to an offer if you’ve nothing better in prospect”

I say “yes..”

I attend an induction session and am introduced to fellow newbie, Thomas. He’s a friendly, Polish man mountain with a good handshake.. We fill in forms, we copy documents, we sign H&S documents.. The work we will be expected to do, with two VERY significant non-disclosures, is outlined. I do this all with a smile on my face and a heart crumbling at the deception I’ve involved myself in..

As the wheels set in motion, and the start date began to draw closer I became wracked with doubt about what I was getting into..  My meds included a generous helping of Tramadol and the occasional resort to a  “herbal remedy” which might prove complicated for me if it was discovered.. 

On my first day I drove to, what felt like, my doom I started to feel my struggles to improve my lot in life had come to me basically sweeping the streets.. As I drew closer to the depot I realised my position was completely untenable and I’d be compromising my deeply held belief  in honesty by lying, or at best being “economical with the truth..” to get the job..

It was a cold dark February morning.  Walking from the car I heard the first bars of the dawn chorus, knew that this was all a stupid joke.. I’d go in to the office, explain what the situation was, apologise for wasting their time, and walk away..

Into the yard.. a middle-management vehicle shot past me and parked in it’s allotted bay. The driver got out and, as is my usual habit at this time of day, I hailed him with a jaunty “GOOD MORNING..!”  

“WHAT’S FUCKIN’ GOOD ABOUT IT” came the reply..

In a red-mist moment my mind changed and I reported for my first day on the Biffa Trip..

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